Payback
by neonquincy1217
Summary: Tantei-san is evil, but revenge is sweet and he's not the only evil genius around. Rated T for language and subtle hints. Written for Poirot Cafe's Theme Writing Competition 2. Edited Nov 13, 2014


**A/N: **Before anything else, word bank!~

_*bocchama _- young master  
>*<em>sanchan/sama _- honorifics  
>*<em>occhan <em>- uncle  
>*<em>mou <em>- geez  
>*<em>neechan <em>- older sister  
>*<em>temenyarou _- you bastard  
>*<em>koso-doro <em>- sneak-thief  
>*Taiyaki - fish-shaped waffle usually filled with sweet bean paste<br>*_jaa ne _- a more casual form of 'goodbye'  
><em>*sou <em>- that's right

This story is written for Poirot Cafe's Themed Writing Competition #2 (I liked the theme so I wrote this, LOLs).

**Disclaimer:** Aoyama Gosho-sensei is the evilest genius who invented the four evilest geniuses Shogakukan has ever seen. I'm just evil, period. xD

* * *

><p><strong><em>Tantei-san is evil, but revenge is sweet and he's not the only evil genius around.<em>**

* * *

><p><span><em><strong>Payback<strong>_

Tantei-san is evil.

And even though Kuroba Kaito has no solid proof, he's experienced enough pain from the latter to come to that conclusion.

He remembers every little detail from his encounters with Edogawa Conan to even make his own volume of _A Series of Unfortunate Events_. Albeit he gets out of them each time, he cannot deny the fact that he struggled to outsmart the twerp. The existence dubbing himself Detective Conan is Kaitou Kid's greatest threat—yes, a threat ever greater than British detective Hakuba Saguru, himself… But then again if it wasn't for the kid, his heists would have been boring.

Kaito doesn't really mind the seven-year-old winning each time they face each other. He's forgiven him for all those times Conan hit him with his devilish soccer ball and left him with blackish-reddish bruises the day after. He's forgiven him that one time he had to run away from the police for hours just because the detective stuck a piece of paper on his back without him knowing. He's always appreciated all those times Conan figured him out, yet let him escape just shy out of Inspector Nakamori's grasp. He's somewhat (take note: _somewhat_) forgiven him for getting himself almost killed when he disguised as that Sherry person, being held at gunpoint by a guy named 'Bahbon' (or rather, that's how he remembered him introducing himself) and almost exploded from the face of the planet in that Bell Tree Express incident. Heck, he even overlooked the fact that the kid forced him to swim away in the fishy sea during that Black Star heist when he couldn't escape with his glider.

What he absolutely _cannot _forgive him for is what _the _Edogawa Conan, dubbed to be Kaitou Kid's natural enemy, did to him not too long ago…

-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-

The target this time is a reddish-orange sunstone known as "The Crimson Dawn." Brought all the way from Siberia, it is currently the largest sunstone in existence, and the newest gemstone in Suzuki Jirokichi's collection. Of course, the filthy rich old man used it once again to lure the Phantom Thief. But as to why The Moonlight Magician is specifically targeting a jewel bearing the name of the sun…

"It's a doublet, Kaito-bocchama," Kaito's loyal assistant, Jii, informed him days before the exhibit opened.

"A _doublet?!_" exclaimed the teenage magician and, placing both his hands on the old man's shoulders, added, "Are you sure about that, Jii-chan?" to which the older of the two replied with a, "Yes. No doubt about it."

It's eight in the evening, and Jii and Kaito met once again at The Blue Parrot to talk about Kaitou Kid's upcoming heist. It was supposed to be a normal, let's-make-this-heist-successful kind of briefing, but upon knowing his target gem Kaito couldn't help but look like he just swallowed an entire gallon of sugar in one go.

"And? And?" the younger one interjected in excitement as he leaned towards Jii, his eyes sparkling in a brighter light upon knowing the information. "What else? Is it big? Is it mysterious? Does it have a deep and dark history fitting for a documentary? An emotionally-scarring backstory? An eerie ghost-related story where the owner was murdered and the jewel was taken away to the belly of the whale? Is it haunted? Is it cursed? Does a spirit of a vengeful maiden guard the stone?" he inquired further—his every question sounding more and more ridiculous than the last—and in each question, Kaito's face leaned closer to his assistant.

Jii pulled away from the teenager's grip. It's been a long while since he's seen Kaito this ecstatic about an upcoming heist. He can't blame him, though. If that sunstone turns out to be Pandora, the gem rumored to give immortality and to which his father's life was taken away, then it means he will cease being the Phantom Thief after this is over.

"Uh," Jii cleared his throat and spoke, "N-no. It's just a regular doublet sunstone."

"What?!" said Kaito in an unusually high-pitched voice. "But it glows, right? Tell me it glows."

"W-well…" Jii walks to the bar counter and placed the tablet in front of him. "It says here that The Crimson Dawn is named such because—"

"Because? Because?" the seventeen-year-old interrupted as he skipped his way towards the counter.

"Please, bocchama, calm down and let me finish."

"How can I be calm when I just realized I could be targeting the very gem my father died for?" Kaito asked the seemingly hurtful question in all smiles, heck, even twirling twice with a strange, fan girl-like flutter in his eyelashes. Jii can only sigh at this become he continued.

"The Crimson Dawn got its name for the way it sparkles the color of crimson at sunrise," Jii read. Kaito sat right across him. Jii's finger slid through the screen, past a picture of the red-orange sunstone about the size of a palm, and he continued, "It was recently discovered in Siberia, by a man whose name was not disclosed, stuck in between rocks of a lake just as the sun started rising. It was said the man was just about to start fishing that day. But far off from the village, a strange red flash deep in the water got his attention."

"Ah, _sou_" Kaito replied, unimpressed. "Then it ended up with Old Man Suzuki one way or the other, I'm guessing… What about Snake and his cohorts? Do we expect an appearance from them?"

"Not a chance. It's going to be displayed aboard a cruise ship. Anyone who boards has to either be with the police or carry invitations. Inspector Nakamori will make sure of that."

_As expected of Occhan,_ thought Kaito with an appreciative grin.

"Yosh! Let's prepare for this right away!~" the magician added enthusiastically as he jumped off his seat. "Not only do I take a challenge this time. I also get to confirm whether or not that gem is Pandora, and all that while I take revenge on that evil Tantei-san. Kekeke!"

Jii raised a brow at this. "Revenge, bocchama?"

"HELL YEAH! That evil kid better watch out. I'll show him!" the magician yelled with much pent -up rage.

The old man put a hand on his forehead before he asked in an 'I-can't-believe-this' sort of tone, "What did he do to you this time?"

"One word, Jii-chan: _fish_."

The old man was wide-eyed in shock on this. "You're not saying… he found out your weakness?"

"No," Kaito replied rather bitterly. "Luckily I had my poker face on long enough."

"What did he do, exactly?" Jii asked him, and he watched as Kaito cringed upon recalling the incident not too long ago.

"He gave me food as 'thanks' for helping him deal with a long-haired creep in black," Kaito narrated. "Apparently there are more bad alcoholic drunkards who are after this Sherry girl."

"That kid," Kaito continued, the tension rising as he did, "even went as far as turning back to his gorgeous seventeen-year-old self to face those crazy people. I helped him shake that stupid armed-and-dangerous drunkard off by disguising as him to throw them to confusion, and he thanked me with a gift I didn't even ask for!"

Jii blinked from what he just heard. How does this information make the seven-year-old 'evil'?

"And… what did he give you, exactly?"

Kaito let out a long, low grumble, as if a thunderstorm is brewing. Then he shouted at the top of his lungs, teary-eyed and horrified, "_TAIYAKI DA_! TAIYAKI!"

The dot-eyed Jii can only utter an "Eh?"

"And it's chocolate-flavored too! It's torture, Jii-chan, I'm telling you!"

Kaito faked a sniff as he once again held Jii by the shoulders. "Jii-chan, that kid is puuuuure evil!" he said in a husky voice.

This time, shifting to a squeaky, sort-of scared-sounding voice, he added, "Just how do you eat chocolate out of a fish?! I mean _CHOCOLATE-FILLED TAIYAKI, _of all things? He could have just given me a coupon for a free eat-all-you-can chocolate ice cream or something."

"He probably figured you out already and decided to test you with that gift."

"That's… likely… I guess?"

The old man can only sweat drop at this as he stuttered, "W-w-well, if it's revenge you're looking for, you have to know his weak point and use it against him."

Kaito stopped for a moment before he unconsciously let the elder go, his blue orbs focused on nothing in particular.

"_Weak point_, huh?"

The younger of the two remained silent for a while, pondering over the information, before he let out a gasp of realization and shook the poor old man dizzy. "Jii-chan, you're a genius!"

The bobbing Jii can only stutter, "Bo-bo-bocchama!" at this.

And after sending his advanced notice and preparing for his mission and his 'mission in a mission,' Kaitou Kid is all set for another exhilarating night of performance.

His audience? Suzuki Jirokichi, Police Division 2 and the Mouri household.

_Kekeke, just you wait, Tantei-san, just-you-wait! You're not the only evil genius in town…_

-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-

Kaitou Kid's heist that night is set earlier than most his heists prior, and this bugged Conan greatly as he exited the Mouri Detective Agency and stopped just outside Poirot Café with Kogorou, both boys dressed up in suits and bowtie, ready for both the grandiose event aboard Suzuki Corporation's Bell Tree Liner and their confrontation with the Moonlight Thief.

_According to the thief's advance notice, his heist would take place during Bell Tree Liner's maiden voyage at about 5:15 in the afternoon._

_That's about fifteen minutes before the sun sets_, the shrunken detective mentally noted, _which I find odd considering he always does his heists late at night… What's he planning to gain from this?_

And then it struck him.

_Could it be he just wants to see the Crimson Dawn's glow and then return it later? It was found at around twilight. Maybe he's just in it for the gem's glow?_

And after about a minute of stunned silence, Conan thought with half-lidded eyes, _Hahah, no way. That's so unlikely!_

From beside him, Kogorou's gaze never left his watch as he impatiently waited for Ran and Sonoko to finish prepping up.

"Geez, they're slow! Just how long does a normal teenage girl get ready for a party?"

As if by cue, Ran and Sonoko appeared below the stairs, both in elegant cocktail dresses and wearing make-up. Both detectives stood petrified upon seeing them.

"It-it doesn't look weird, does it?" Ran asked as she crouched at Conan who was staring at her like she just grew another head. Beautiful is an understatement if Conan was asked to describe it. Ran looked stunningly attractive in that red silk sequins-strapped dress that goes just above her knees, revealing her milky-white complexion, a black bow just below her chest, paired with red shoes and white pearl necklace and earrings. With her hair tied up on one side, fastened with a white-colored rose, Ran's definitely sparkling. The dumbfounded little boy whose face is as red as the girl's dress shook his head frantically, unable to speak. From beside her, Sonoko, in a simple cream-white velvet dress and bolero, grinned instinctively.

"Ah-lele? Why do you look like a tomato, brat?"

True to her words, the bespectacled really looked like a tomato in a suit.

"N-nothing," Conan lied as he looked away.

"Oi, we're going on a cruise ship. You'll catch a cold wearing something _that _revealing," the self-proclaimed detective commented, directing the statement to his daughter.

"I know that," Ran replied as she opened her purse to take something out. "That's why I brought… oh."

"What is it Ran?" the heiress beside her asked.

"I left my shawl upstairs," said the long-haired girl sheepishly, making a small movement to the direction of the stairs. "Wait here. I'll go get it…"

"Geez, hurry it up!"

"I know, I know," Ran replied to her father's whining before she ran upstairs at lightning speed. She came back a minute after with a red shawl hanging around her shoulders, just in time for a taxi to pass by. And with that, they were off to the docks. Security was tight even before everyone boarded the ship, and once Inspector Nakamori had his fill on making sure none of those on board is Kid in disguise, The Bell Tree Liner sets off.

-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-

"Wow, pretty!" Ran exclaimed, eyeing the Crimson Dawn bathed in white light, placed upright on a pedestal and encased in a glass container in the middle of the observation deck with a 360° view of the ocean. Not too far from where she, Kogoro, Sonoko and Conan are, two people bickered loudly.

"So are we expecting Kid to successfully take the jewel despite it being miles away from land?" Old Man Suzuki told Inspector Nakamori.

"Well he's got to get himself in the ship somehow," Ginzo argued. "How do you suggest he'll come? Besides, without your usual lasers or bulletproof glass, how do we keep him from stealing it without any trouble?"

"Nakamori-keibu, you and your men are onboard the most high-tech, super-powered cruise ship. It'll take a miracle for him to steal it under our noses. You yourself checked every person aboard. That proves no one's in disguise, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, that brat in glasses watched me do so!" the inspector replied, glancing at Conan.

Upon the mention of the kid, Jirokichi confidently stated, "Then what is there to worry about?"

"In any case, there's only about a minute before the heist," said Ginzo as he glanced at the clock and put his gas mask on. "We'll have to be ready."

Hearing the conversation, Conan pondered, _That really is weird…_

_If he's coming here by boat someone should have spotted him already, even more so if he's flying._

_Which means he's already among us, wearing a mask too difficult to pull off..._

The sound of his cellphone ringing cut the boy off his thoughts.

"Hello?" he answered after picking the call up.

_"Conan-kun?" _a voice all-too familiar left Conan petrified.

"Eh?! R-Ran-neechan?" Conan looked up to the long-haired girl just beside him in horrified realization. 'Ran' was beaming at him like 'she' has seen it coming.

_"MOU! How can you guys leave me here?" _said the voice over the line, just as a blackout ensued and sleeping gas filled the room._ "You guys left me sleeping at home and you didn't even notice!"_

Amidst Ginzo's shouts and scurrying feet, the silhouette that was once beside him broke the glass enclosure, took the sunstone, knocked every gas mask off each police member's face and ran away in escape, all that while, no one suspecting that Kaitou Kid was already in the ship at the first place, disguised as Mouri Ran.

Conan stood dumbstruck for a moment before he gave chase, covering his nose as he did. The seven-year-old hurried out the room now filled with sleeping Task Force members, Jirokichi, Sonoko and Kogorou. He remembered Ran running up the stairs of the agency and going back down with the shawl around her, but without a purse. The detective only realized now that it was then that the switch took place.

_Nyarou!_

-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-

"_Teme!_ How dare you disguise yourself as Ran again!" the shrunken detective bellowed as he finally caught up with Kid just above the observation deck.

Still using Ran's voice, Kid told him, "Heh, déjà vu-ish, don't you think? This is almost the same thing that happened some months ago aboard Saint Selizabeth. No one can do the same thing twice as elegant as I do."

"However, I must apologize, Tantei-san, for I don't have enough time to entertain you tonight," and holding up the sunstone, the thief added in an obnoxious tone, "This might be the one I'm looking for…"

Conan's brows furrowed at this. He remembers the thief telling him 'It's not what I'm looking for' more than a couple of times before, but he always considered the possibility that Kid might be bluffing. But for the thief to utter the words 'This might be the one I'm looking for,' Conan thought he might really be looking for something.

"Let's call a truce," said 'Ran' in Kid's voice this time. "There's only about ten minutes before the sun sets completely. Why don't we hang out for a while and watch the stone glow red?"

The detective looked as though Kid just uttered the lamest joke the world has ever heard. The ends of his mouth twitched in annoyance before he said, "You're kidding right?"

"Afraid not," the taller of the two said with both hands in the air. "Like I said, this must be what I'm looking for, and I'm just about to confirm it in a little while."

"How about you take off your disguise first? It's bugging me," the detective said bitterly.

"No can do, Tantei-kun. The mask stays and that's final. Just imagine watching the sunset with your girlfriend. It'll make no difference."

Conan rolled his eyes on the statement, albeit streaks of red decorated his features, "Tch, can't be helped."

_A sunset date with Ran, huh? _Conan thought, but then the thought made his stomach churn with mixed emotions—whether if it's of disgust or appreciation, he can't really tell for sure—when he realized he's not on the date with Ran, but rather, with _Kid dressed in a perfect_ _Ran disguise._

They sat there silent for the next eight minutes. From beside him, Kid contented himself with staring at the jewel and admiring its red-orangey glow. "Wow, what a pretty light!" the guy in a dress commented in captivation.

"What exactly are you looking for?"

"I'm afraid I can't say that either," the thief shrugged. "Just stick with your own investigations."

Conan groaned and leaned his chin against a palm in irritation. "Geez, how stingy."

Kid chuckled to that comment as he said without leaving his gaze at the gem, "I'm a thief, Tantei-san. I don't give things away, I take them—huh?"

"What's wrong?" Conan asked, curious about Kid's sudden change of demeanor. He leaned over to peer at the Big Jewel in the thief's possession and saw with his own eyes the reason.

"Crimson Dawn… the gem inside it…"

"It's glowing green," the detective said in false fascination.

"So this is not it either, huh?" Kid uttered just as the sun has set completely. He then held the sunstone higher, this time against the moon, and was surprised to know that the doublet gem is now pitch-black.

_Mou, and after all the trouble I went through with gluing a mask to my face._

"Mysterious, don't you think? It glows a different light depending on the time of the day," the thief asked the detective beside him with a wide grin on his face.

"Heh! Too bad, _koso-doro-san_," Conan interjected with glee as he raised his stun-gun wristwatch. "Looks like the truce ends here."

"Whoa!" Kid exclaimed as Conan pushed the trigger, but the thief quickly got away and the tranquilizing needle missed him by just a few inches. With poker face in place, Kid commented, "My, my. I thought you said you were going to let me off unharmed the last time I helped you."

"I was… right until you copied Ran's face!" the kid said with conviction. He held out one hand and said with a tone of authority, "First of all, hand me the jewel."

Kid took the shawl off him, wiped the Crimson Dawn off any fingerprints, and threw it towards the shrunken detective just enough for it to land on his palm. With one hand on the gem, Conan activated his kick-shoes and held on to his ball-dispensing belt, ready to fire any time.

"Are you sure you want to end it this way?"

"Huh?"

"Like I said, you can always pretend you're on a date with your girlfriend," and, switching once again to Ran's voice, the thief added a seductive-sounding "Shinichi, my love," which left the detective red-faced.

Upon seeing Conan's expression, 'Ran' giggled girlishly and said, "Thank you! I had a lovely time watching the sunset with you."

"Wh-why you…" the detective muttered under his breath, letting his guard down completely. Kid then curved a malicious grin and used this chance to get away from the other boy completely. And so, facing sideward from Conan, Kid shrugged his shoulder so that the strap of the dress would fall off, and waved at Conan with a wink, all that while still sporting a seductive face…

"Ja nee, Tantei-_sama!~_" 'Ran' uttered, and blew a kiss to Conan's direction. And with a puff of smoke, Kid disappeared from his spot completely. He reappeared seconds later in his full Kid getup, flying safely away from Bell Tree Liner and leaving a stunned Edogawa Conan beet red on the ship's deck.

_DAMN YOU, I'll never forget this!_

-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-

_"WHAT?! Kid disguised as you—again?!"_ the angry voice of Shinichi boomed over the receiver, Ran had to put her cellphone inches away from her face.

"Yeah, and I completely missed Bell Tree Liner's maiden voyage! Isn't that awful?" the karate-do narrated, a tinge of longing evident in her voice.

_"Once I get my hands on that thief I'll charge him for sexual harassment!"_ said he, and his childhood friend just laughed at him.

"_Mou_, when are you coming back, Shinichi?" Ran said out of the blue as she sprawled face-up on her bed. From the next room, _Shinichi _blinked in reply.

"W-why did you suddenly bring that up?"

"I just thought…" Ran paused, a tinge of red appearing on her cheeks. "I feel like he's not gonna do that again if you're here."

Conan blushed as he slurred, "W-why's that?" but Ran's giggling made him stop.

"Isn't it obvious? That's not gonna happen again with you around, right, Meitantei-_san_?" she uttered in a sing-song voice.

Conan accidentally dropped his phone upon Ran's words. In his mind popped the image of 'Ran' winking at him with a seductive face as she uttered the words 'tantei-sama.' Blood splashed down Conan's nostrils. Over the line, he can hear Ran saying "Ne, just answer the question already," and "Shinichi? Hello?" when he failed to reply. Conan lay there unconscious on the bedroom floor until Kogorou discovered him and, not knowing what had happened, called for an ambulance in the middle of the night.

_Kid, you bastard! What did I ever do to you?_

-*-.-*-.-*-.-*-

Elsewhere, the Phantom Thief flew gracefully with the moonlight on his back.

_Heheh, as I suspected, he's secretly a perv! Kekekek, _were Kaito's thoughts as he went his merry way back to the Blue Parrot, still wearing the critical mask that left his rival scarred for life. "OHH YEAH! Revenge is sweet!"

Speaking of sweets, we now know who's going to have himself a chocolate-covered sweet stuff for dinner… and we can be assured it's not taiyaki.

**END**

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><p><strong>AN: **Got this idea from reading this article about the cruise ship, Quantum of the Seas, and from watching DC's Red Woman arc and the Black Star heist.

Aaaand, of course, from watching and re-re-re-watching DC and MK episodes.

Hmm, but I still feel like something's missing...

Oh well. RxR pretty please? :D

**-neonquincy1217**


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